Just have a mind as beautiful as mine!

Anxiety on Overdrive!

So as those who are close to me know, I have problems with anxiety. I am greatly affected by stressors that I feel I don't have control over or occur differently than I expected. I have found that my anxiety is provoked the most by my interactions with the people in my life and situations involving the people in my life. By nature my heart is bigger than myself, therefore I tend to have high hopes and expectations for the people and things I care about. There is a huge problem with that though! When you feel so deeply about everything and things don't go as expected, you're left with a great amount of disappointment. The disappointment comes from the high hopes and expectations that you have for these people or situations. No one likes to feel let down or as if they failed. These are the feelings that I mainly experience when this happens and that brings me stress and anxiety. I'm always wondering what I could've done differently on my part. When I meet people and I let them into my universe I don't see it as a temporary instance so when things go left it's hard for me to accept the change. I am aware that this happens all the time to many people, not just me, however, it takes a while for me to adjust.

When anxiety consumes you it's very hard to concentrate and find the motivation to do the things you know you have to do. I am in a doctoral program and I have many obligations to fulfill . Sometimes when I'm feeling anxious and tense I shut down and I don't want to do anything. My close friends always pick up on this and try to get me to talk about what I'm feeling. That's the type of behavior that makes me want to gain control of how I let situations affect me. I don't have time for any setbacks! Getting too attached to people and situations makes you forget about yourself and maybe even lose sight of yourself. You have to acquire your happiness from within and not rely on others for that. Happiness begins with you. Within myself I'll find freedom from stress and anxiety.  

I'm realizing now that sometimes SHIT HAPPENS! Shit happens and it may be beyond anything that I can do so it's up to me to free myself of the stress and anxiety. It has happened! The change, the disappointment, and maybe even the failure but I don't have to be stuck there. Trust me it's easier for me to write that than it is for me to practice it, but I promised myself I would find real freedom within myself so I have to let things go. This is my biggest internal challenge but I owe a worry free life to myself and I plan to acquire it. Even though I'm up at 2:09am writing this in the most heartless hour, I still have a place in my heart for forgiveness and faith that things will get better!

Peace & Good Vibes, 

Harmonious Kourt

What's Work With No Play?!

So I'm back! Just wanted to share with you all what I did this past weekend. Literally almost all my friends are involved in or simply enjoy art in some way. One of my really good friends Crystal is a photographer/ youtube blogger. I have done plenty photography projects with Crystal for fun and recently she asked me to be featured on her YouTube channel. This weekend we met up and I filmed for her first segment of "Girl who has time for makeup?". It was so much fun and I got to show her as well as her subscribers my make-up skills or lack thereof lol. So far on her social media she's posted photos and on March 5,2015 she'll be posting a sneak peak of the segment. The name of her youtube channel is "theothercrystal" and this is also her name on Twitter and IG! So subscribe to her channel and follow her on social media! She's truly dope! Hope you all enjoy!