I AM UNCOMFORTABLE

Hey Hey! So this post is going to be about something that has honestly been weighing on my heart since the end of 2014 and it's the fact that I AM HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE. Back in 2014, early 2015, I had a series of events happen that made me feel as though I had lost complete control of my life(as dramatic as that sounds). I was on an emotional roller coaster between things occurring within my personal and family relationships and with my career and school. I was being faced with some hard situations to deal with and I was running from every single one of these situations. Why? Because they were hard and they were making me too damn uncomfortable. I'm a creature of habit and I like to be in control. I've lived my life mapping things out and hoping for things and getting them. I might not have gotten them immediately but not too long  after I would get what I wanted. That's what I was used to and when I turned 25 I swear life was like "ummmm nah". In these series of situations I definitely was not getting my way and I did not like it. So what do you do when you can't handle being uncomfortable? You try to stick to what you know or avoid avoid avoid if you can. Lol I avoided my true feelings regarding these various situations and just tried not to think about it anymore. I really thought I could just not talk about my feelings and hopefully I'd get over it and they would disappear. I got to a point where I didn't even like to talk about how I was feeling anymore. I preferred to just act like I didn't have feelings. Wouldn't that be easier? Y'all know it wasn't. So here's the thing. This shit wasn't going away and actually it was getting worse. All these situations that were making me uncomfortable that I tried to compartmentalize and not think about needed attention (*rolls eyes*). Through the guidance from a mentor I was encouraged to face all these things head on. I'm not going to lie, this has been one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do. It has been tough but through meditation and introspection I've gained so much insight into myself and situations that I thought I was over or could avoid dealing with. I'm still uncomfortable with certain things but now I'm okay with it. My discomfort in the past was something that I looked at negatively however, now my discomfort lets me know something great is coming in my life. First hand I know that "great things never came from comfort zones". Oddly enough today I am more comfortable with being uncomfortable and okay with the uncertainties of life. I no longer want to hide because something is hard but instead push through my fears and these tough times and go after what great things I feel God has in store for me. You waste so much time wondering why or running from things you don't understand. I now prefer to live life fully and explore all life has to offer! "You can never be happy if you're always afraid to let go of what's comfortable, familiar. Sometimes, those are the things that hurt us”.

Peace & Good Vibes! 

Harmonious Kourt